Je sais que je peux ne jamais la remplacer.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Shihan, posted at 9:23 AM | 0 Noticed Me

Can I be a kid just for a moment?
Just for now.. I wanna be so naive, so vulnerable and everyone's protecting me..
Yes, I can't do that cause, It wouldn't be the real me.. But I really felt like breaking down.
I don't wanna be that strong girl, facing everything all by myself. I need someone there.
To protect me, to be with me.. I am afraid, I daren't face the consequences. Someone help me please. I couldn't help to stand the emptiness..
Please forgive me for being childish once again, forgive me for not being able to compromise, forgive me for being unreasonable, forgive me for being emotional & forgive me for getting your attention.. I'm sorry for mistake I've made. I'd attempt to amend it but it doesn't seemed to work. I want back my childhood. I want back that naive mind, I had enough of schemings. I am true now, this is my real self..
I still misses you daddy. Do really take good care of yourself.
& you would always be in my heart...

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Shihan, posted at 7:27 AM | 0 Noticed Me

End of the weekends. It'll gonna be an uber busy week again.. I felt so tired all of the sudden.
I finally realised, every lie you committed will be exposed. Sooner or later..
Enjoyed my weekends. Thanks you guys.
Dad's gonna be back 1 week later. I'm afraid, that he'll never be back again.
Seriously, I do not have the courage to face things that's happening.
Everyone around me seems so happy.. I want to be happy too, a delightful girl as before.
Trying my best to smile, to be like the refined, cheerful girl.
I just couldn't help to feel sad & empty. I felt like I seriously needed a lot of love..
Daddy, please come back. I have faith in you.

Saturday was a normal weekend. Went to meet ed at takashimaya for and shop for quite awhile.
Thanks for that Dior lip maximiser. Went bunk after that. Meet up with hito & friends. Went to dinner at Mac with Ck, Lex, Qiqi & friends. It was a funny meal. Heh, Lex opened a concert at Mac. Ha!

I'm sorry Hito, I couldn't help to hurt you. I'm sorry if I'd gave you the wrong idea. We are just normal friends alright? ^^

Went bunk and continued on the games and stuff. Qiqi went back home and I too went off to meet mummy. :D
Went to the Old market ( Lau pa sa) at Shenton Way for Laksa, Rojak, Noodles & Fruits (Mine obviously) enjoyed the meal with Tony & his girlfriend. She's a very beautiful lady indeed. A Russia girl who speaks perfect English & Chinese. I was amazed. Went Geylang afterwards. Was making fun of everything we saw =X Enjoyable trip. Ha! Went to the esplanade later to see the merlion. Sent them back to the Old English Style Hotel and went home with Mummy. It's already 2am then. I was so tired and fall straight to sleep after the shower.

Nothing much happened today. Prepared myself for school tomorrow.. That's all.
Dad, I really miss you.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Shihan, posted at 4:17 AM | 0 Noticed Me

It's been long since I've really cursed people.
Hey you morons, listen up. Can you guys just be AUTOMATIC?
When you see people who need help can't you just stop playing your damn stupid game and help?! You don't earn my respect, so don't blame me for speaking ill to you. You want respect? Then earn it. You don't stay in people house, not paying rent AND WANT PEOPLE TO DO YOUR DAMN CHORES FOR YOU.
You these morons don't earn my respect, Push all the fault to me?! You fucking promise breaker. How old are you? Can't you be more mature? Don't you know what's embarrassed?
You dumbass seriously piss me off. I've put up with you long enough.
Can't you see that people is so freaking troubled already? Why add up to people's trouble?
I'm not your maid nor your nanny alright, do your own stuffs and stop using me as AN EXCUSE.
You are the culprit that made me so pissed off and being so rude..
I'm not at the least sorry, I don't feel hurt anymore by you guys.
You all damn faggots are NOTHING to me.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Shihan, posted at 8:26 AM | 0 Noticed Me

Mum'd decided to sell away the house. It have lots of memories & I'd actually spent most of my lifetime in this house. Dad's still away, I think he'll be coming back at the 8th of August.
Exams are coming, everyone's mugging. It's time for me to study hard, very hard instead.
I'm glad to see that there's improvement in me but really feel the emptiness.
What am I really striving for? I wouldn't ask for anything now, except for the return of my dad and this entire family.
I'm really thankful to people around me, helping and teaching me.
Thanks guys ! :D

Yesterday's monday, went to watch Harry Potter after school with Colleen, Yiying & my beloved Gladys. Had a lot of fun, we crack jokes and talk about the stupidest stuffs. Heh.
The movie is a nice one, though it didn't really emphasize on the ending, the whole story is very nice it had emphasize more on the process, unlike the previous ones. I'm really looking forward for the next Rowling's movie.

Studied real hard today for the test, hope everything's fine. I must really study hard..

Happy Birthday Hao, thanks for everything. At least I knew you'd care.
5 months past that Valentine's day..
17 July '2007

Friday, July 13, 2007

Shihan, posted at 10:56 PM | 0 Noticed Me

Haven't been logging in, cause so many problems happened the past month.
I really missed my dad, he left without a word. He promised to come back, and I trust that he will.
Thanks for people around me. I'd learnt to be strong, not depending on anyone.
Have a new haircut. I'm going short now! Some have bad comment, some good comments and some have neither. No matter what. I'm gonna love my hair as it's already cut ma! If my financial allows, I'll go for extention maybe :D I want to continue dancing. I really like that kinda way of expressing myself, releasing all my stress. Things will get better I guess. I love you guys.