I failed.. To be a good daughter and a friend.
I was throwing tandrums when my dad was sick. I didnt know that and actually made him stayed awake for the night. I felt so bad.
Was I really petty? But I really hated being accused..
I was very sad and angry that day, no one wanted to listen to my explanation..
No one was there for me.. Mum walked away, leaving me alone in the carpark.
I called eileen, she told me that there's something wrong with my personality..
I was confused. I became such a changed girl. Doing things that I was told. What is still wrong with me?! I really don't understand. Till now, no one believed my words. I was devastated.
It seemed like there's no one around me. I felt so lost, so insecure.
I was thinking, "did all the effort made went to waste?"
I promise myself, to be a great daughter and a best friend..
Eileen said that I'm kept giving myself excuses wallowing myself in pity..
I didn't want to do that. I just can't help, I need the care and concerns. Otherwise, I'll feel very insecure. I just want everybody to be there for me. I have no idea why am I like that but once I felt insecure I'll just go mad. Like some crazy woman. I can't help it. Can someone help me?
There used to be someone who understands me but not now .. Sigh.